Railing Against the Dark

I have discovered that the Dark is merely an illusion. This discovery renders it a little less capable of destroying me in an instant, but I do not yet know if that knowledge can entirely ransom me from its captive grasp. I must always be on my guard against it, for if I am not, its insidious voice creeps into my thoughts, splitting my very Self into a dichotomy of abuser and victim. I am two beings then, but only just now have I discerned that the voice of the abuser is the voice of the Tempter, ensnaring me in his most successful trap. If Jesus is at the core of my being, that being is of the Light. The Dark that disguises it is not some elemental part of myself--it is my own personal demon, sent as a lure from the Devil himself to capture my Eternal Soul through the one unforgivable sin of Despair. But by the Grace of my Heavenly Father, my Beloved Jesus, and the Holy Spirit,
I shall not fall again.

Find a new temptation, O Adversary. I have seen through your Dark.

A New Poem

What Does Okay Feel Like?

You asked me in the lunch line,
You called a last-ditch meeting,
You knew I could do better.
You all said:

Are you okay?
Is something wrong?
What's going on
With you?

You wanna talk?
I'm here for you.
Don't say you're sorry--
It's not about me.
You're only hurting you.

I put on a smile
You seem to believe.
I'm fine, I say,
But don't look too close.

Let me slip through your cracks,
Let me go on smiling.
Let me watch all alone
And see what I'm not.

As years march on,
The smile falters,
No longer reaching my eyes.
But you don't want to see,
So you don't really look.
And yet you ask once more:

Are you okay?
Is something wrong?
What's going on
With you?

You scare me this time.
It's something new.
You'd really listen
If I'd talk to you.

But what to say?
How do I start?
After all this time,
It tears me apart.
How can I make you see?

Then suddenly, without my bidding,
The hidden Me comes out,
And says, in a shaky voice,
What does okay feel like?

As your eyes widen in shock,
That little voice screams
NO! I'm NOT okay!